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02 September, 2009


If our lives are unhappy, or if we are feeling unfulfilled, it’s very easy to blame our parents, or them, and say it’s all their fault. However, if we do, we stay stuck in our conditions, our problems, and our frustrations. Words of blame will not bring us freedom. Remember, there is power in our words. Again, our power comes from taking responsibility for our lives. I know it sounds scary to be responsible for our lives, but we really are, whether we accept it or not. If we want to be responsible for our lives, we’ve got to be responsible for our mouths. The words and phrases we say are extension of our thoughts.

Start to listen to what you say. If you hear yourself using negative or limiting words, change them. If I hear negative story, I don’t go around repeating it to everyone. I think it has gone far enough, and let it go. If I hear a positive story, however, I will tell everyone.

When you are out with other people, begin to listen to what they say and how they say it. See if you can connect what they say and with what they are experiencing in life. Many, many people live their lives in shoulds. Should is a word that my ear is very attuned to. It is as if a bell goes off every time I hear it. Often, I will hear people use a dozen shoulds in a paragraph. These same people wonder why their lives are so rigid so why they can’t move out of a situation. They want a lot of control over things that they cannot control. They are either making themselves wrong or making someone else wrong. And then they question why they aren’t living lives of freedom.

We can also remove the expression of have to from our vocabulary, and our thinking as well. When we do, we will release a lot of self-imposed pressure on ourselves. We create tremendous pressure by saying, “I have to go to work. I have to do this. I have to…….. I have to………” Instead, let’s begin to say choose to. “I choose to work because it pays the rent right now.” Choose to puts a whole different perspective on our lives. Everything we do is by choice even though it may not seem to be so.

A lot of us also use the word but. We make statements, then we say but, which heads us in two different directions. We give conflicting messages to ourselves. Listen to how you use the word but the next time you speak.

Another expression we need to be mindful of is don’t’ forget. We’re so used to saying, “Don’t forget this or that,” and what happens? We forget. We really want to remember and instead we forget, so we can begin to use the phrase please remember in the place of don’t forget.

Observe Your Self-Talk
When you wake up in the morning, do you curse the fact that you have to go to work? Do you complain about the weather? Do you grumble that your back or head hurts? What is the second thing and the third thing you think or say? Do you yell at the children to get up? Most people say more or less the same thing every morning. How does what you say start your day? Is it positive and cheerful and wonderful? Or is it whining and condemning? If you grumble and complain and moan, you’re setting yourself up for such a day.

What are your last thoughts before going to bed? Are they powerful healing thoughts or poverty worrying thoughts? When I speak of poverty thoughts, I don’t only mean about the lack of money. It can be a negative way of thinking about anything in your life—any part of your life that is not flowing freely. Do you worry about tomorrow? Usually, I will read something positive before I go to sleep. I am aware that when I sleep I am doing a lot of clearing that will prepare me for the next day.

I find it very helpful to turn over to my dreams any problems or questions I may have. I know my dreams will help me take care of whatever is going in my life.

I am the only person who can think in my mind, just like you are the only person who can think in your mind. Nobody can force us to think in a different way. We choose our thoughts, and these are the basis for our self-talk. As I experienced how this process worked more in my life, I began to live more of what I was teaching others. I really watched my words and my thoughts and I constantly forgave myself for not being perfect. I allowed myself to be me, rather than struggling to be a super persons who may only be acceptable in other’s eyes.

When I began for the first time to trust life and to see it as a friendly place, I lightened up. My humour became less biting and more truly funny. I worked on releasing criticism and judgment of myself and other people, and I stopped telling disaster stories. We are so quick to spread bad news. It’s just amazing. I stopped reading the newspaper and gave up the 11 o’clock news at night, because all the reports were concerned with disaster and violence, and there was very little good news. They love to hear bad news, so they have something to complain about. Too many of us keep recycling the negative stories until we believe that there is only bad in the world. For a while, there was a radio station that broadcast only good news. It went out of business.

When I had my cancer, I decided to stop gossiping, and to my surprise, I found I had nothing to say to anyone. I became aware that whenever I met a friend, I would immediately dish the latest dirt with them. Eventually I discovered there were other ways of talking, although it wasn’t an easy habit to break. Nonetheless, if I gossiped about other people, then other people probably gossiped about me, because what we give out we get back.

As I worked more and more with people, I really began to listen to what they said. I really began to hear the words, not just get the general drift. Usually, after ten minutes with a new client, I could tell exactly why they had a problem because I could hear the words they were using. I could understand them by the way they were talking. I knew that their words were contributing their problems. If they were talking negatively, imagine what their self-talk was like? It must be more of the same negative programming—poverty thinking—as I called it.

A little exercise I suggest you do is to put a tape recorder by your telephone, and every time you make or get a call, push the record button. When the tap is full on both sides, listen to what you have been saying and how you say it. You will probably be amazed. You will begin to hear the words you use and the inflection of your voice. You will begin to become aware. If you find yourself saying something three times or more, write it down because it is a pattern. Some of the patterns may be positive and supportive, and you also may have some very negative patterns that you repeat over and over again.

The Power of the Subconscious Mind

In the light of what I’ve been speaking of, I want to discuss the power of our subconscious minds. Our subconscious minds make no judgments. The subconscious mind accepts everything we say and creates according to our beliefs. It always says yes. Our subconscious minds love us enough to give us what we declare. We have choice, though. If we choose these poverty beliefs and concepts, then it is assumed that we want them. It will continue to give us these things until we are willing to change our thoughts and words and beliefs for the better. We are never stuck because we can always choose again. There are billions and billions of thoughts from which to choose.

Our subconscious minds don’t know true from false or right from wrong. We don’t want to deprecate ourselves in any way. We don’t want to say something like, “Oh stupid, old me,” because the subconscious mind will pick this self-talk up, and after a while you will feel that way. If you say it enough times, it will become a belief in your subconscious.

The subconscious mind has no sense of humor, and it is important for you to know and understand this concept. You cannot make a joke about yourself and think it doesn’t mean anything. If it is a put-down about yourself, even if you are trying to be cute or funny about it, the subconscious mind accepts it as true. I don’t let people tell put-down jokes in my workshops. They can be raunchy but not put-downs of a nationality or sex or whatever.

So don’t joke about yourself and make derogatory remarks about yourself because they will not create good experiences for you. Don’t belittle others either. The subconscious mind doesn’t distinguish between you and the other person. It hears the words, and it believes you are talking about yourself. The next time you want to criticize someone, ask why you feel that way about yourself. You only see in others what you see in yourself. Instead of criticizing others, praise them, and within a month, you will see an enormous change within you.

Our words are really a matter of approach and attitude. Notice the way that lonely, unhappy, poor, sick people talk. What words do they use? What have they accepted as the truth for themselves? How do they describe themselves? How do they describe their work, their lives, their relationships? What do they look forward to? Be aware of their words, but please don’t run around telling strangers that they are ruining their lives by the way they talk. Don’t do it to your family and friends either because the information will not be appreciated. Instead, use this information to begin to make the connection for yourself, and practice it if you want your life to change, because even on the smallest level, if you change the way you talk, your experiences are going to change.

If you are a person with an illness, who believes that it is fatal and that you are going to die and that life is no good because nothing ever works for you, then guess what?

You can choose to release your negative concept of life. Start affirming for yourself that you are a person who is lovable and that you are worth healing, and that you attract everything you need on the physical level to contribute to your healing. Know that you are willing to get well and that it is safe for you to get well.

Many people only feel safe when they are sick. They are usually the kind that have difficulty saying the word no. The only way they can say no is by saying, “I’m too sick to do it. It’s a perfect excuse. I remember a woman at one of my workshops who had three cancer operations. She couldn’t say no to any body. Her father was a doctor, and she was daddy’s good little girl, so whatever daddy told her to do, she did. It was impossible for her to say no. No matter what you asked her, she had to say yes. It took four days to get her to literally shriek “No!” at the top of her lungs. I had her do it while shaking her fist. “No, No, No.” Once she got into it, she loved it.

I find that many women with breast cancer can’t say no. They nourish everybody except themselves. One of the things I recommend to a woman with breast cancer is that she must learn to say, “No, I don’t want to do it. No!” Two or three months of saying no to everything will begin to turn things around. She needs to nourish herself by saying, “This is what I want to do, not what you want me to do!”

When I used to work with clients privately, I would hear them argue on behalf of their limitations, and they would always want me to know why they were stuck because of one reason or another. If we believe we are stuck, and accept that we are stuck, then we are stuck. We get “stuck” because our negative beliefs are being fulfilled. Instead let’s begin to focus on our strengths.

Many of you tell me that my tapes saved your lives. I want you to realize that no book or tape is going to save you. A little peace of tape in a plastic box is not saving your life. What you are doing with the information is what matters. I can give you plenty of ideas, yet what you do with them is going to count. I suggest you listen to a particular tape over and over again for a month or so that the ideas become a new habit pattern. I ‘m not your healer or savior. The only person who is going to make a change in your life is “you”.


Source: Excerpt from the book “The Power is Within You” written by Louise L. Hay.
Louise L. Hay is a metaphysical lecturer and teacher and the bestselling author of numerous books. Her works have been translated into 29 different languages in 35 countries throughout the world. For more than 25 years, Louise has assisted millions of people in discovering and using the full potential of their own creative powers for personal growth and self-healing. Louise is the founder and chairman of Hay House, Inc., a publishing company that disseminates books, audios, and videos that contribute to the healing of the planet.

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