The New Science of Thank You

The two most important words you’ll say today can change your life, and research is proving it.
By Deborah Norville, From

Making Progress

Some days, you just want to stay in bed and hope the world forgets you exist. David Patrick Columbia was having one of those days. New to New York City, he was worn down by the hustle and bustle, no longer excited and proud about relocating to Manhattan, as he had been weeks earlier. He’d imagined himself a hot young talent taking the magazine world by storm, only to end up doing grunt work as a low-level assistant on a barely-making-it salary. He couldn’t afford his own place and felt uncomfortable sponging off a friend.

“I was rethinking everything—my ability as a writer, my career choice,” he recalls. That Saturday morning, he wanted to stay in bed. But no, he had to fetch a photo for work.

It was cold, gray and damp when David headed across town. “I don’t know what possessed me, but I decided to start counting things along the way that made me happy,” he says. “I just wanted to see how many pleasing things I came across.”

First on his list: a mother walking her baby, all bundled up in a stroller. “That little face just made me smile,” he says. Then he saw a jet in the sky. “Flying has always captivated me.” And so it went. From the sizzling smells at bistros to eye-catching store-window displays, David acknowledged one thing after another that brightened his mood. By the time he picked up that photo, he was feeling thankful he’d made the move to the Big Apple.

“I was reminded that I lived in an exciting, interesting and invigorating place,” he says. “Whenever I’m feeling down, I do this. It makes me feel better.” It’s been more than 20 years since David took his “walk of thanks” across Manhattan. Now he’s a successful entrepreneur in the media business and says his gratitude stroll helps him stay focused to this day.

What if, instead of wallowing in our misery, we all chose to focus on being valued by a dear friend, for example, or the memory of a colleague’s face when she receives a surprise birthday cake at work, or the smooth ride we’ve had to work in the past week? As science is now proving, feeling grateful can actually make us healthier, literally. Practicing gratitude, acknowledging the blessings in our lives and making it a point to recognize the good things can change us positively. We’ll sleep better and exercise more. We’ll feel more optimistic. We’ll be more alert and active. And if we do this over a period of time, we’ll realize that we’re making progress toward our life goals.

A Higher Quality of Life

What David Patrick Columbia discovered in his own life, Robert Emmons, PhD, has proved in his lab. A professor of psychology at the University of California, Davis, Emmons has long been interested in the role gratitude plays in physical and emotional well-being.

Along with psychology professor Michael McCullough of the University of Miami, Emmons took three groups of volunteers and randomly assigned them to focus on one of three things each week: hassles, things for which they were grateful, and ordinary life events. The first group concentrated on everything that went wrong or was irritating to them, such as “the jerk who cut me off on the highway.” The second group homed in on situations they felt enhanced their lives, as in “My boyfriend is so kind and caring—I’m lucky to have him.” And the third group recalled recent everyday events, as in “I went shoe shopping.”

The results: The people who focused on gratitude were just flat-out happier. They saw their lives in favorable terms. They reported fewer negative physical symptoms such as headaches or colds, and they were active in ways that were good for them. They spent almost an hour and a half more per week exercising than those who focused on hassles. Plain and simple, those who were grateful had a higher quality of life.

Others around them recognized that too. “They noticed that these people had more joy, more energy. They could see that they were becoming more optimistic,” says Emmons. The grateful group “even seemed to be perceived as more helpful toward others, going out on a limb to help people.” Emmons was surprised by this result. “This is not just something that makes people happy, like a positive-thinking/optimism kind of thing. A feeling of gratitude really gets people to do something, to become more pro-social, more compassionate.” This did not happen in either of the other two groups. Emmons and McCullough took their study, published in 2003, one step further. Rather than focus on hassles or blessings on just a weekly basis, they rounded up college students to do it every day. The researchers asked for specific personal details as well: how many alcoholic drinks the volunteers had, how many aspirin or other pain relievers they took, the quantity and quality of their sleep. They also asked volunteers to compare themselves with others: Are you better of worse off?

If you were going to have dinner with anyone, you’d want someone from the gratitude group at your table. Right off the bat, Emmons and his team recognized that there was something powerful about a regular gratitude check. And in a follow-up study, those who found something to appreciate every day were less materialistic— less apt to see a connection between life satisfaction and material things. They were more willing to part with their possessions. The bumper sticker that reads “The one with the most toys wins” was unlikely to be found on any of their cars.

Amplify Positive Feelings

The grateful people were less depressive, envious and anxious, and much more likely to help others, a fact not lost on those around them. When others were asked their impressions of the daily-gratitude students, they generally judged the students as empathetic, helpful and pro-social, more likely to put themselves out for others. The study found that the people who were consciously grateful:

-- Felt better about their lives.
-- Were more optimistic.
-- Were more energetic.
-- Were more enthusiastic.
-- Were more determined.
-- Were more interested.
-- Were more joyful.
-- Exercised more.
-- Had fewer illnesses.
-- Got more sleep.
-- Were more likely to have helped someone else.

Related studies have found other benefits as well, all of which could arguably be linked to a grateful mind-set: clearer thinking, better resilience during tough times, higher immune response, less likelihood of being plagued by stress, longer lives, closer family ties, greater religiousness.

Along with thinner thighs and six-pack abs, this is a fairly comprehensive list of what most of us would wish for in life. “I have studied a lot of topics in the nearly 25 years since I’ve been in graduate school, and no topic has gotten more interest from people than this. It’s exciting,” says Emmons.

But the science doesn’t stop there. After being given a little bag of candies, doctors in a study conducted by psychologist Alice M. Isen, a Cornell University professor, were better able to process the facts of difficult medical cases and to think outside the box about what might be causing the ailments. It turns out that this way of being thanked—by receiving a small sweet-had a big payoff.

“The doctors who got the candy didn’t jump to conclusions,” Isen says. “They realized quickly what the domain of the illness was, and they were correct. But they continued to check their diagnosis against new information as it came in.” The doctors who received no candy at all were less likely to be as methodical.

Isen’s hypothesis is that the good feelings generated by something as simple as an expression of appreciation intervene in the release of dopamine, the chemical in the brain associated with happiness. As Isen explains, dopamine is released when people are feeling good or are excited by a challenge. It activates the parts of the brain in which complex thinking and conflict resolution are thought to be headquartered.

Isen has also found that positive emotions make people more helpful to others. And since helping someone else makes people feel good about what they’ve done, the positive feelings continue and even amplify, creating more good feelings.

The Power of Gratitude

So how do we use all this science of gratitude in our lives? The power of gratitude takes just a few minutes a day. But it requires consistency and an open mind—and dedication. Says Emmons, “I think gratitude is a demanding quality, a rigorous quality. It’s a discipline, an exercise.” It may not come easily, but it can be developed. Here’s how:

Record your thanks.

Take a moment during the day—right before bedtime is usually best—to jot down three things that happened that day for which you are grateful. Anything that made you feel uplifted, that brought a smile to your face or your heart, or will contribute toward your future happiness, works.

After each situation or event for which you feel thankful, write down why this was good for you. Perhaps you received an e-mail from an old school friend who hadn’t been in touch for years, and this reminded you of the good times you had together. It forced you to realize that people think of you even though you’ve had no contact with them, which must mean you’re a pretty special person.

Also, make a note of who, if anyone, played a role in what you’ve recalled for the day and how that person had an impact on your life.

None of this sounds hard, right? Given the choice between this exercise and 50 sit-ups plus 25 push-ups, you’re much more inclined to pick up a pen, aren’t you?

The gratitude journal makes you look at life in a positive, concrete way, reminding you of its interconnectedness in a fast-paced, impersonal world and how much others add to the quality of your life. It forces you to focus on what went right instead of the inevitable things that went wrong. And it enhances your self-esteem.

See the patterns.

Over time, you’ll notice a consistency within the list of items you’re grateful for. Many entries will underscore the importance of people in your life. Others will highlight meaningful experiences. Still other items will be things that began with you, things you created that you can point to with pride and say, I made that happen. It’s called eudaemonia, the happiness or fulfillment that comes from the action itself, not the result of it. Any other benefits that come along—someone is grateful, your project is a success—are icing on the cake.

Catch the boomerang.

Gratitude, when expressed to others, almost always comes back around. People who feel appreciated are more willing to make an effort for those who make them feel valued. In one study, waitresses who simply wrote “thank you” on the check before handing it to their customers received, on average, 11 percent more in tips that those who didn’t. Waitresses who wrote a message about an upcoming dinner special on the checks also received higher tips—on average, 17 to 20 percent higher. In a world where personal connections seem increasingly limited, and sometimes stressful when they do occur, gratitude resonates.

Seize the moment.

Look around you: What’s right with your world? If you have a hobby, practice it. If you don’t, find one. Reach out to others; share something. A small gesture toward another individual costs you little but can bring many benefits. All these actions increase your opportunities to feel grateful.

Says Barbara Fredrickson, a psychologist at the University of North Carolina, “Gratitude has the potential to change everything from its ordinary state to being a gift.

Now, that’s saying a lot.

Grace Notes

The etymology of the word gratitude helps explain it. Gratitude originates from the Latin word gratus—meaning “thankful, pleasing”—which has its roots in gratia, which means “favor, pleasing quality or goodwill.” Derivatives of the Latin root can be found in many other languages. In Lithuanian, gririu means “to praise or celebrate.” In the 13th century, the short prayer before a meal came to be called grace. And in Greek, the word for “grace” is charis—the root of the word charisma.

Source: From Reader's Digest - October 2007

MIND YOUR WORDS

If our lives are unhappy, or if we are feeling unfulfilled, it’s very easy to blame our parents, or them, and say it’s all their fault. However, if we do, we stay stuck in our conditions, our problems, and our frustrations. Words of blame will not bring us freedom. Remember, there is power in our words. Again, our power comes from taking responsibility for our lives. I know it sounds scary to be responsible for our lives, but we really are, whether we accept it or not. If we want to be responsible for our lives, we’ve got to be responsible for our mouths. The words and phrases we say are extension of our thoughts.

Start to listen to what you say. If you hear yourself using negative or limiting words, change them. If I hear negative story, I don’t go around repeating it to everyone. I think it has gone far enough, and let it go. If I hear a positive story, however, I will tell everyone.

When you are out with other people, begin to listen to what they say and how they say it. See if you can connect what they say and with what they are experiencing in life. Many, many people live their lives in shoulds. Should is a word that my ear is very attuned to. It is as if a bell goes off every time I hear it. Often, I will hear people use a dozen shoulds in a paragraph. These same people wonder why their lives are so rigid so why they can’t move out of a situation. They want a lot of control over things that they cannot control. They are either making themselves wrong or making someone else wrong. And then they question why they aren’t living lives of freedom.

We can also remove the expression of have to from our vocabulary, and our thinking as well. When we do, we will release a lot of self-imposed pressure on ourselves. We create tremendous pressure by saying, “I have to go to work. I have to do this. I have to…….. I have to………” Instead, let’s begin to say choose to. “I choose to work because it pays the rent right now.” Choose to puts a whole different perspective on our lives. Everything we do is by choice even though it may not seem to be so.

A lot of us also use the word but. We make statements, then we say but, which heads us in two different directions. We give conflicting messages to ourselves. Listen to how you use the word but the next time you speak.

Another expression we need to be mindful of is don’t’ forget. We’re so used to saying, “Don’t forget this or that,” and what happens? We forget. We really want to remember and instead we forget, so we can begin to use the phrase please remember in the place of don’t forget.

Observe Your Self-Talk
When you wake up in the morning, do you curse the fact that you have to go to work? Do you complain about the weather? Do you grumble that your back or head hurts? What is the second thing and the third thing you think or say? Do you yell at the children to get up? Most people say more or less the same thing every morning. How does what you say start your day? Is it positive and cheerful and wonderful? Or is it whining and condemning? If you grumble and complain and moan, you’re setting yourself up for such a day.

What are your last thoughts before going to bed? Are they powerful healing thoughts or poverty worrying thoughts? When I speak of poverty thoughts, I don’t only mean about the lack of money. It can be a negative way of thinking about anything in your life—any part of your life that is not flowing freely. Do you worry about tomorrow? Usually, I will read something positive before I go to sleep. I am aware that when I sleep I am doing a lot of clearing that will prepare me for the next day.

I find it very helpful to turn over to my dreams any problems or questions I may have. I know my dreams will help me take care of whatever is going in my life.

I am the only person who can think in my mind, just like you are the only person who can think in your mind. Nobody can force us to think in a different way. We choose our thoughts, and these are the basis for our self-talk. As I experienced how this process worked more in my life, I began to live more of what I was teaching others. I really watched my words and my thoughts and I constantly forgave myself for not being perfect. I allowed myself to be me, rather than struggling to be a super persons who may only be acceptable in other’s eyes.

When I began for the first time to trust life and to see it as a friendly place, I lightened up. My humour became less biting and more truly funny. I worked on releasing criticism and judgment of myself and other people, and I stopped telling disaster stories. We are so quick to spread bad news. It’s just amazing. I stopped reading the newspaper and gave up the 11 o’clock news at night, because all the reports were concerned with disaster and violence, and there was very little good news. They love to hear bad news, so they have something to complain about. Too many of us keep recycling the negative stories until we believe that there is only bad in the world. For a while, there was a radio station that broadcast only good news. It went out of business.

When I had my cancer, I decided to stop gossiping, and to my surprise, I found I had nothing to say to anyone. I became aware that whenever I met a friend, I would immediately dish the latest dirt with them. Eventually I discovered there were other ways of talking, although it wasn’t an easy habit to break. Nonetheless, if I gossiped about other people, then other people probably gossiped about me, because what we give out we get back.

As I worked more and more with people, I really began to listen to what they said. I really began to hear the words, not just get the general drift. Usually, after ten minutes with a new client, I could tell exactly why they had a problem because I could hear the words they were using. I could understand them by the way they were talking. I knew that their words were contributing their problems. If they were talking negatively, imagine what their self-talk was like? It must be more of the same negative programming—poverty thinking—as I called it.

A little exercise I suggest you do is to put a tape recorder by your telephone, and every time you make or get a call, push the record button. When the tap is full on both sides, listen to what you have been saying and how you say it. You will probably be amazed. You will begin to hear the words you use and the inflection of your voice. You will begin to become aware. If you find yourself saying something three times or more, write it down because it is a pattern. Some of the patterns may be positive and supportive, and you also may have some very negative patterns that you repeat over and over again.

The Power of the Subconscious Mind

In the light of what I’ve been speaking of, I want to discuss the power of our subconscious minds. Our subconscious minds make no judgments. The subconscious mind accepts everything we say and creates according to our beliefs. It always says yes. Our subconscious minds love us enough to give us what we declare. We have choice, though. If we choose these poverty beliefs and concepts, then it is assumed that we want them. It will continue to give us these things until we are willing to change our thoughts and words and beliefs for the better. We are never stuck because we can always choose again. There are billions and billions of thoughts from which to choose.

Our subconscious minds don’t know true from false or right from wrong. We don’t want to deprecate ourselves in any way. We don’t want to say something like, “Oh stupid, old me,” because the subconscious mind will pick this self-talk up, and after a while you will feel that way. If you say it enough times, it will become a belief in your subconscious.

The subconscious mind has no sense of humor, and it is important for you to know and understand this concept. You cannot make a joke about yourself and think it doesn’t mean anything. If it is a put-down about yourself, even if you are trying to be cute or funny about it, the subconscious mind accepts it as true. I don’t let people tell put-down jokes in my workshops. They can be raunchy but not put-downs of a nationality or sex or whatever.

So don’t joke about yourself and make derogatory remarks about yourself because they will not create good experiences for you. Don’t belittle others either. The subconscious mind doesn’t distinguish between you and the other person. It hears the words, and it believes you are talking about yourself. The next time you want to criticize someone, ask why you feel that way about yourself. You only see in others what you see in yourself. Instead of criticizing others, praise them, and within a month, you will see an enormous change within you.

Our words are really a matter of approach and attitude. Notice the way that lonely, unhappy, poor, sick people talk. What words do they use? What have they accepted as the truth for themselves? How do they describe themselves? How do they describe their work, their lives, their relationships? What do they look forward to? Be aware of their words, but please don’t run around telling strangers that they are ruining their lives by the way they talk. Don’t do it to your family and friends either because the information will not be appreciated. Instead, use this information to begin to make the connection for yourself, and practice it if you want your life to change, because even on the smallest level, if you change the way you talk, your experiences are going to change.

If you are a person with an illness, who believes that it is fatal and that you are going to die and that life is no good because nothing ever works for you, then guess what?

You can choose to release your negative concept of life. Start affirming for yourself that you are a person who is lovable and that you are worth healing, and that you attract everything you need on the physical level to contribute to your healing. Know that you are willing to get well and that it is safe for you to get well.

Many people only feel safe when they are sick. They are usually the kind that have difficulty saying the word no. The only way they can say no is by saying, “I’m too sick to do it. It’s a perfect excuse. I remember a woman at one of my workshops who had three cancer operations. She couldn’t say no to any body. Her father was a doctor, and she was daddy’s good little girl, so whatever daddy told her to do, she did. It was impossible for her to say no. No matter what you asked her, she had to say yes. It took four days to get her to literally shriek “No!” at the top of her lungs. I had her do it while shaking her fist. “No, No, No.” Once she got into it, she loved it.

I find that many women with breast cancer can’t say no. They nourish everybody except themselves. One of the things I recommend to a woman with breast cancer is that she must learn to say, “No, I don’t want to do it. No!” Two or three months of saying no to everything will begin to turn things around. She needs to nourish herself by saying, “This is what I want to do, not what you want me to do!”

When I used to work with clients privately, I would hear them argue on behalf of their limitations, and they would always want me to know why they were stuck because of one reason or another. If we believe we are stuck, and accept that we are stuck, then we are stuck. We get “stuck” because our negative beliefs are being fulfilled. Instead let’s begin to focus on our strengths.

Many of you tell me that my tapes saved your lives. I want you to realize that no book or tape is going to save you. A little peace of tape in a plastic box is not saving your life. What you are doing with the information is what matters. I can give you plenty of ideas, yet what you do with them is going to count. I suggest you listen to a particular tape over and over again for a month or so that the ideas become a new habit pattern. I ‘m not your healer or savior. The only person who is going to make a change in your life is “you”.

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Source: Excerpt from the book “The Power is Within You” written by Louise L. Hay.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Louise L. Hay is a metaphysical lecturer and teacher and the bestselling author of numerous books. Her works have been translated into 29 different languages in 35 countries throughout the world. For more than 25 years, Louise has assisted millions of people in discovering and using the full potential of their own creative powers for personal growth and self-healing. Louise is the founder and chairman of Hay House, Inc., a publishing company that disseminates books, audios, and videos that contribute to the healing of the planet.
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I will count my blessings and never my Troubles

Face your troubles. You will find growth in it. Count your blessings. You will find happiness in it. The blessing is that we have enough for our needs. The trouble is that we do not have enough for our greed. Stop asking, “Why me god?” for all your troubles and start asking, “Why me god?” for all your blessings.

There are millions of species and we could have been born as any one of those life forms. What a blessing it is to be born as a human being? We have shelter to sleep under, people to cry for and cry with, enough to eat, plenty to wear, education to build our life on, we speak, read and write in at least two languages, abundance of technology to make our living comfortable, limitless avenues of entertainment… and the list is endless. Oh, what a blessing life is?

I am not naïve to proclaim that you do not have your share of troubles. There is no such trouble-free life! However, when you view a small piece of wood by holding it away from you, it is just a piece of wood. Hold it too close to your eyes and it will even cover the sun from your vision. Troubles, when viewed in the context and background of your blessings, are mere challenges to be faced and to be overcome. But, when troubles are viewed in isolation, they seem insurmountable.

Aspire for the sneakers, but be grateful for the legs. Aspire for the diamond ring, but be grateful for the fingers. Aspire for the waterbed, but be grateful for your sleep. Aspire for the palatial bungalow, but be grateful to be part of a home that is not build by bricks, but by love. Aspire for enlightenment, but be grateful that you are a seeker.

A boy from the home for abandoned children once said, “Tell your people who complain that their parents shout at them that they at least have parents to shout at. We don’t have that. A day will come in their life when their parents will not more be there to shout at them and then they will realise how stupid they were in counting a blessing as a trouble in life.”

It seems, when the shopkeeper asked a small boy to take as much chocolates as he wants with both his hands, the boy refused stating, “Uncle, if I take with my own hands, only little will come. You give with your own hands and I will have much more that way.” If we honestly look into our lives, the best of everything that we have has been given to us even without we having to ask for it. This very life, as a human being, is a blessing bestowed upon us without we having to ask for it. It seems there is a force that understands what is good for us, much more than we understand it ourselves.

When I asked god for strength

He gave me difficult situations to face.

When I asked god for brain and brawn

He gave me puzzles in life to solve.

When I asked for god for happiness

He showed me how to work hard.

When I asked god for favours

He showed me opportunities to work hard.

When I asked for god for peace

He showed me how to help others.

God gave me nothing I wanted.

He gave me everything I needed.

-- Swamy Vivekananda.

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Source: Excerpt from Alma Mater values of “Frozen Thoughts magazine May 2009”.

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Value Systems for Positive Living

1.      FUNDAMENTAL VALUES OF LIFE

The world today presents two distinct classes of people.  One class is active, energetic, productive, prosperous.  The vast majority of the Western World seems to fall under this category.  With all their activity and achievement people of this class admit lack of inner peace and happiness.  They succumb to mental pressures and complain of stress and strain all through life.  The other class of persons is inactive, lethargic, unproductive and poor.  The east, particularly India, may fit into this category.  Though they be so their lives are relatively peaceful and happy.  It seems a strange paradox.  Prosperous countries with advanced education suffering the several ills of life like bitterness and battle, disharmony and divorce, suicide and homicide.  Whereas countries rift with illiteracy and penury enjoy relative contentment and peace.  The reason for such a paradox is loss of human values.  People are unaware of the fundamental values that mould human life.  Consequently, they live their lives without following these values.  They go by the bare animal instincts of acquisition, aggrandisement and enjoyment.  The present generation needs to revive, rehabilitate and re-establish its value systems.  Analyse and study the following basic values and graft them into the pattern of your life.

            The first and foremost human value focuses on action.  Action is the insignia of life.  None can live without performing action.  You are drawn into the world to act helplessly according to your vasans, inner temperament.  Yet if you choose to remain idle you lead yourself to putrefy and perish in the struggle for existence. 

            Action is your own creation.  You impose duties and responsibilities upon yourself.  Let them not lord over you.  You are your lord, ultimate master.  Not realising this, people turn pale at the thought of duty.  Become a mere machine of duty.  Get into a fever of doing.  Hurrying and worrying all the time.  Impassioned by your self-imposed duties and responsibilities in life you turn them into a frankenstein, threatening and harassing you.  You must take to work as a prince takes to sport. The most laborious work the turns into play.  Intense work undertaken thus is no work at all.  That should be your attitude to work, towards action.  You must learn to work dynamically, incessantly in this world while your mind remains calm and composed.  The great Swami Rama Tirtha made a classic statement as a guideline for mankind to follow -

-  Intense work is rest.

            Having launched action your next obligation is to give it a direction.  A direction based on higher values.  Analyse the nature of your work.  The reason and purpose of the activity you are engaged in.  The higher and nobler the ideal you set for your work the greater will be your achievement in life.  An ideal relates to some common cause, high goal above your ego centric desires in life.  Your ideal may be to serve society or humanity or all fellow beings.  Fix an ideal as high as you can but be realistic in your choice.  Let all your actions follow that ideal.  The ideal gives a positive direction to action.

            Work undertaken ina spirit of dedication to a high ideal is satisfying, entertaining, rewarding.  Without an ideal, your work turns ego centric and selfish.  It then becomes monotonous, fatiguing, retarding.  You become tired and weary of work.  You need a break.  You look forward for weekend and vacation.  You wait for Friday evenings and dread the thought of Monday mornings.  Human dignity revolves around a noble ideal in life. 

            Following an ideal set for yourself you live a life of Satyam.  Satyam means truth, you then lead a truthful, meaningful, purposeful life.  William Shakespeare highlights this quality in the last few lines of Polonius' advice to his son Leartus in the play 'Hamlet'.

OBJECTIVITY

            Positive living calls for not only action and direction in life but objectivity as well.  Objectivity means maintaining a spirit of detachment, an impersonal attitude towards the every ideal that you have set for yourself, towards your work as such.  Your motto in life should be to strive, to struggle not to succeed.  Work well accomplished is joy in itself.  Success or failure is immaterial.  Learn to adopt action to obligation.  Your business should confine to action alone.  Do not yearn for reward or merit accruing from it.  Not get entangled in the fruit of your action.

            Your duty lies in just being in the struggle.  Work on for work's sake.  Turn indifferent towards pleasure or pain, joy or sorrow, honour or dishonour that may accrue out of action.  Your life stays enriched by accomplishment of right action rather than outward success or progress.  Take up your work without an axe to grind.  Let your action merely fulfil your life's obligation.  Go about it in a spirit of detachment.  Follow the pattern of nature.  Like a river flows, tree yields fruit, cow gives milk.  Work then becomes a pleasure.  Pleasure or happiness lies in the garb of work.

            Action emanate either from your mind or intellect or a combination of both.  Mind consists of feelings and emotions.  Intellect reasons, discriminates, judges.  An action propelled by mere emotion without intellect's guidance is impulsive.  While an action arises out of reason and judgement, even an emotion supports it, is said to be 'objective'.   Objectivity, therefore, is determined by ones intellectual supervision over the minds likes and dislikes, desires and attachments.  A constant, concerted, conscious monitoring of life.  Thus when your intellect follows a set objective, goal or ideal beyond your selfish desire your action becomes objective.

            The world comprises three distinct categories of living creatures -- plant, animal and human.  Plant has no mind, feeling, emotion.  Animal has only a mind, feeling and emotion but no intellect.  It acts on impulse, feeling.  A human being possesses both mind and intellect.  He has feeling and emotion but reason and judgement as well.  His intellect reason and judges.  Overrides his impulse and feeling if they prove detrimental to his being.  Guides action towards the right direction in his life.  Plants merely exist.  Animals live impulsively.  Humans alone can conduct themselves with reason, understanding and judgement.  Work for an ideal above their self-centered interest in life.

SELF CONTROL

            The sense organs of perception, comprise eye, ear, nose, tongue and skin.  Eye reaches for colour and form, ear for sound, nose for smell, tongue for taste and skin for touch.  These senses constantly gravitate to their respective sense objects.  Also, the objects tend to draw the senses towards them.  The human being is therefore, always subject to the pressure of sensual demand and worldly attraction.  His senses crave their enjoyment while the sense objects powerfully entice them. 

            Man never understands the tremendous power that senses wield.  The scriptures caution mankind of their devastating power.  How they topple even learned persons who are committed to the path of spirituality.  The problem arises when you ignore their power and indulge in the senses indiscriminately.  Later in life when the senses develop an addiction to the particular sense object, you find it impossible to withdraw.  You become victimised by your own senses. 

            The pleasures that the senses derive from the sense objects are ephemeral, fleeting, temporary.  All sensual enjoyments have a diminishing value.  Your pleasures in the senses decrease as they repeat their contact with objects.  And through overindulgence, you lose the pleasure completely.  You become neutralised to the particular enjoyment.  You derive no pleasure from it thereafter.  But you still continue to indulge because abstinence from it gives you displeasure.  You now contact that sense object not for any pleasure but to avoid displeasure.  Understand neutralisation by comparing your own experiences.  You are neutralised to the pleasure of breathing oxygen.  So are you neutralized to using your eyes and limbs.  And so on.  You gain no pleasure with them.  But without them you will be miserable.  Just as you will give anything away for a whiff of oxygen.  Yet, breathing continuously you claim no enjoyment out of it.  Thus are you neutralised to oxygen.  Similarly, to the use of your senses and limbs.  Now, to pick up sense objects from the external world and get neutralised to them as well tantamounts to madness.

            As a human being, you must live as a master, not a slave to the senses.  The vast majority of people in the world have enslaved themselves to the power of senses.  They dance to the tune of their senses. Sensual demands reduce them to mere puppets.  A fundamental value that every human must learn and live is to maintain suzerainty over his senses.  People round the world fall under two categories in their relation with senses.  One class of person only indulges indiscriminately in them.  They lose the pleasure of the senses as well as their objective in life. The second class, a small minority, keep away from the senses fearing them.  They remain frustrated, which impairs success and progress in their lives.  The right value is to deal with your senses from a position of authority.  Maintain a mastery over the senses at all times.  You then enjoy them as well as gain your objective in this world.

DUTIES, NOT RIGHTS

            Every human being's fundamental duty and responsibility is to realise the supreme Self in his lifetime.  He takes birth in this world for that purpose alone.  To find his identity with the real Self within.  The greatest ideal in life is your own Self, Atman, God.  Let your mind be attuned to the Self, while your body is engaged in work.  Your ego disappears.  The ideas of "I" and 'mine', vanish.  You become the greatest worker in the world when you consider yourself no worker.  Your duty and responsibility in this world is to work in the spirit of renunciation.  You generate peace, love, harmony in yourself and society.

            In the world today people either become attached and entangled in their work or escape from their obligatory duty and responsibility.  You ought not to run away from your obligation.  Action is inevitable.  You must perform your duty without ego centric desire or anxiety for fruit of action. Your intellect, must fix your clear obligation to yourself, your family, society, country, humanity and fellow beings.  Then carry them out to the best of your ability.

            Two broad principles governing human action are based on the attitudes of 'giving' and 'taking'.  Let the attitudes of taking prevail in a society.  Then that society becomes infested with selfish demand and desire, strain and stress, sorrow and suffering.  Whereas, a society with its members bent on giving rather than taking generates peace and happiness.  Victor Hugo in his classic novel 'Les Miserables' highlights this quality:  "Life is to give, not to take."  No man has the right to desire, demand from society.  He has only an obligation to give, to serve.  To cater to the welfare of one and all.  You serve the world, the world serves you.  Objects and beings stand in obeisance before you.  You become a master, no servant.

            Learn the art of giving.  You then gain peace and prosperity.  Observe a child that has the heart to give.  It keeps liberally offering its prized possessions to others.  Watch it carefully.  As it gives, its face beams with a smile.  Joy springs from its heart.  On the contrary a selfish, possessive child, never willing to part with anything, frets and frowns at everything.  So do you gain peace and happiness when you serve, give share with others.  The attitude of giving provides not only inner peace but material prosperity as well.  The more you give, the more you gain.  Those who aggrandise, accumulate, amass wealth lose their peace and eventually their prosperity.  It is a law of life.

            In physics, you notice a particular colour in an object when it gives that colour away.  Light consists of seven vigbyoric colours.  An object appears red when it absorbs, takes in, all other colours except red.  The object actually gives away red colour.  And it appears red.  What it concedes, it accedes.  The great sage Rama Tirtha says, "The way to gain anything is to lose it."  If you crave for anything, develop a clinging attachment for anything you do not get it, you lose it.  But when you learn to treat it dispassionately, relate to it with a spirit of detachment you attain it, you retain it.  In this world what you cling on to you lose, what you leave alone you gain.

            Gratitude stands out among the foremost human values.  A human being is so human being without gratitude.  William Shakespeare denounces ingratitude as man's worst evil.  In his play 'Julius Caesar', he condemns Brutus as a traitor because of his ingratitude towards his own benefactor, Caesar.  In 'King Lear', the king raves about this deadly trait of ingratitude in his daughters throughout the play.  A human being without gratitude is a rose within fragrance, a nightingale without song, a lake without water.

          The moment you are born, you are indebted for all that this world provides you.  You have a perfect supply of air and light, food and drink, temperature and pressure, respiratory and ailmentary systems -- all forces of nature seem to attend on your well - being.  Recognise these endless blessings showered upon you.  Be constantly aware of these provisions.  Be eternally grateful to Providence.  The lease you could do in return is to render your service to one and all. 

            Your sense of gratitude does not confine to nature's blessings alone.  It must reach out to every facet of your life in this world.  Life then becomes liveable and loveable.  Management must learn to be grateful to labour. So must labour be grateful to management.  Husband must be grateful to wife.  So must wife be grateful to husband.  Doctor to patient.  Patient to doctor.  Gratitude is the sap that sustains life.

II.GOALS TO ACHIEVE

            Unlike any other being, a human needs to set goals to achieve in a lifetime.  Other creatures are destined to live through a determined pattern of life. They have no choice of action.  Humans alone can choose their course of life.  They are privileged to set high ideals for themselves.  Then practise the fundamental values to attain them.  This portion sets out the highest human goals and ways to achieve them.

INDEPENDENCE

            Living creatures comprise plant, animal and human.  Of the three, plant is most dependent on the world.  A plant will perish if it does not have nourishment at its roots.  Its nourishment may be available some yards away but it cannot help itself to it.  A plant is wholly dependent upon its environment.  Unlike a plant, an animal is not totally victimised by the rigours of the external world.  It can adapt itself to an extent to different environs and living conditions.  An animal moves to conducive places for food and dwelling.  Birds are known to fly thousands of miles for that purpose.  Yet all these creatures enjoy a limited capacity to adopt themselves to the changing world.  A human alone commands greatest freedom.  He is least dependent upon the stern laws governing the world.  He harnesses nature by artificial means.  Conquers space and time by jet speed.  Overcomes diseases by medicine.  Complements natural food with synthetic products.  Does a host of other things.

            So you are blessed with great powers.  And yet you allow yourself to the persecuted by the changing world.  You suffer in the world because of your identification with body, mind and intellect.  Your interest and attention rests constantly upon your equipments.  You pursue their petty pleasures rather than the bliss of your real Self.  You are attached to your body, mind and intellect.  The law of attachment is:  As you think, so you become.  The world can affect your material equipments alone.  Not your Self.  Physical environment and condition affect your body.  Emotions sway your mind.  Ideologies play with your intellect.  But none of them can disturb the Self.  Self is supreme.  But your Self seems affected due to your unintelligent attachment to these material equipments.  Nothing can affect the Self.  Affect you.  Therefore, identify with your Self.  Realise your Self.  A Self-realised person remains ever-free, liberated, independent of this world.  Revels in absolute bliss of the Self within.

            Independence is a distinct sign of spiritual maturity.  As you advance spiritually you become more independent of the world around you.  To the extent you lack spiritual growth you become relatively dependent -- upon your body and perceptions, mind and emotions, intellect and thoughts -- for your peace and happiness.  All other creatures barring humans are denied spiritual edification.  Thus, they remain wholly dependent upon the world.  Independence is a human prerogative.  Aim and aspire to attain the goal of independence, self-sufficiency, liberation in life.

            A coconut provides a striking example of human liberation.  When a coconut is raw the kernel is attached to the shell.  Kernel and shell are together.  Break the shell kernel also breaks.  When the coconut is fully dry, the kernel dries up.  Kernel separates from the shell.  It sets itself free.  Clear from the shell.  Kernel then shakes within the shell like a rattle.  Now break the shell, the kernel does not break. It remains intact.  Unaffected, unimpaired, immaculate.  So it is with your true Self.  As long as you attach yourself with your body-mind-intellect, you will be affected by the ever changing world.  But when you detach yourself from your body-mind-intellect, stop identifying with them you remain unaffected, peaceful and happy.  You enjoy freedom, liberation, total independence.

HAPPINESS

            The ultimate goal of human existence is realisation of one's Self.  A state of ultimate satisfaction, fulfillment, reveling in absolute peace and bliss.  No physical pleasure, emotional joy or intellectual rapture can add to that supreme state.  Nothing in the world can enhance that infinite bliss.  A happiness that lies within your own Self.  Not anywhere else.  Arthur Schopenhauer rightly states, "It is difficult to find happiness in oneself but it is impossible to find it anywhere else."  Yet every one seeks it anywhere else.

            People pursue happiness in the external world.  Everywhere except the Self within.  A cripple in a wheel-chair believes that happiness lies in a pair of legs.  The one with legs craves for a vehicle to transport him around.  A vehicle owner yearns for a partner in life.  Thus he goes on………..to a home, wealth, status, power.  Everyone chases the shadow of happiness ceaselessly.  The vain pursuers suffer mental agitation all through their unfulfilled desires.  The richest man in the world craves for more riches.  The most powerful seeks more power. The most knowledgeable longs for more knowledge.  None understands that true happiness lies within oneself.  As the famous English poet John Milton endorses:

The Mind can make a heaven out of hell and hell out of heaven. 

            Imagine  a dark spot appearing in a beautiful picture projected on a screen.  Try to remove the spot.  Wipe the screen.  Scrub it.  Wash it.  The spot will not go.  The spot happens to be on the lens of the projector.  Wipe the lens here, the spot is gone there!  The picture is clear.  Learn this simple lesson.  Remove desires within, your life is happy.

            The goal that every human must aspire for is knowledge of Self.  Humanity has lost its identity.  Knows not the real Self.  Spiritually ignorant people grope in darkness in this world.  Imagine a person moving around in the darkens of a room.  He will strike against corners ad corners, obstacles and obstructions and hurt himself.  As long as the room remains dark he will suffer from the breakable and damage.  Light is what the needs.  The moment there is light his suffering and sorrow end.  His life runs smooth and easy.

             Knowledge and ignorance related to this world differ only in degree, not in kind.  Like light and darkness.  Light and darkness also differ only in degree.  An electric light is bright with respect to the dull candle-light.  But the same electric light appears dull in the brilliance of sunlight.  In the ladder of knowledge the lower rung is considered ignorance, the higher rung knowledge.  Every bit of knowledge in the world is ignorance viewed from a higher plane of knowledge.  Therefore, all knowledge acquired in this world reduces itself to ignorance before the absolute knowledge of Self.  Knowledge of Self alone can remove all human suffering and sorrow in this world.

            The knowledge imparted in educational institutions is mere secular information stuffed into the minds of students.  The student becomes well-informed in the particular subject taught.  He turns intelligent in that subject.  But does no original thinking or enquiry.  His intellect still lacks development.  Herbert Spencer was an intellectual but no graduate from a university.  When asked if he was a voracious reader, he shot back, "No sir, if I were as big a reader as others, I would have been as big an ignoramus as others."  Real education lies in drawing the Self out of yourself.  Use your intellect to study, reflect, enquire and discover your own Self.

            Examine your own life.  Your Self pervades all your experiences.  In the entire span of your life you refer to self as "I".  I see, hear; I am happy, unhappy, I know, do not know etc. The same "I" pervades your waking, dream and deep-sleep states of consciousness.  When you are awake you declare, 'I am Gupta'.  In your dream, you assume a different personality.  You declare then, 'I am Thomas'.  In deep-sleep, 'I am nothing.'  Again, in various stages of your life you say, 'I am a child', 'I am a boy' …. A youth, man, old man.  These are all different and distinct from one another.  Each stays awhile and passes away.  They are all impermanent, transient, changing.  Yet you link them all with the constant, permanent, unchanging I'.  The I' never leaves you.  That is your real Self.  The supreme Reality.

            Your problem is that you do not remain with Self alone.  You qualify, modify, condition the Self every moment, Colour, stain, pollute the Self.  You say:  I am tall, short, I am happy, unhappy; I am bright, dull, never do you clinch the 'I' alone.  Never experience it in its pristine glory.  And yet, the stark truth is that you are the Self.  The Self alone.  You must realise this truth.  Drop all conditioning.  Gain knowledge of real Self.

LOVE

            Love provides the melody of life.  Love means realising your oneness with the universe.  Identifying with your fellow beings.  Feeling united with one and all.  That is love.  With this sense of oneness you fall in harmony with nature, with the world.  But when you lack love, when you do not feel that oneness, consider yourself separate and distinct from the rest of the world, you fall out of harmony with everything, everybody, everywhere.

            True love is universal.  The modern concept of love is distorted.  Reduced to personal preferential attachment.  Reduced to personal preferential attachment.  In his famous novel 'The Vicar of Wakefield' Oliver Goldsmith speaks of love.

          "To thine own self be true,

          And it must follow, as the night the day

          Thou canst not then be false to any man."

STEP BY STEP METHODS OF JAPA

The word japa means ‘to rotate’, and the practice of japa yoga involves continuous rotation of a mala in synchronization with a mantra. Japa yoga actually means ‘union with the highest existence through rotation of consciousness.’

Of all the systems of meditation, japa is the most popular. Its practice is not confined to followers of the yogic and tantric path, it is also a part of Hinduism, Christianity, Sufism, Buddhism and most other religions and cultures. The practices of japa provide many different techniques and in one form or another japa is applicable to every person. It is the easiest form of meditation for those who do not have the guidance of a guru and is, therefore, the most widely used meditation practice in the West.

The technique of japa yoga is primarily meant for the awakening of psychic awareness in the average individual as well as the spiritual aspirant. It is particularly suitable for those who have a restless, unstable mind and for all who are tamasic or rajasic by nature.,

During japa one has to do two things – chant a mantra and rotate the beads of the mala. These act as a point of reference for awareness. After a short time one gets into a rhythm; the movement of the mala becomes synchronized with the chanting. If one tends to fall asleep or become too involved in thoughts, the mantra repetition and moement of the mala will become uncoordinated or stop altogether.

Rotation of the mala and chanting of the mantra will quickly and automatically make one introverted. Japa provides the practitioner with an easy way to break away from external noises and other disturbances. While practicing it is impossible to become totally absorbed in one’s worries and mental activities as japa requires (and develops) a certain amount of awareness. Japa, therefore, prevents the practitioner from becoming lost in either the inner or outer world, and it keeps sleep and drowsiness at bay.

While practicing japa, thoughts will arise and these must be witnessed and not suppressed. Most thoughts that arise during meditation are very superficial and they must be cleared away to allow the deeper tensions of the mind to manifest. After steady, regular practice of japa, the mind will be overwhelmed by the mantra and less interested in the monotonous patterns of thought. Mental turmoil will subside and balanced, harmonious mind will rest.

When the mind has become still and you have become deeply absorbed in your mantra, a vision or unexpected thought may suddenly manifest. This represents a deeper problem which you must witness without any involvement. If you can do this, it may be all that is needed to remove it. If you have this experience, understand that you are cleansing the mind and are now beginning to penetrate its deeper layers. Let your thoughts flow and let the japa process continue simultaneously. Sometimes the awareness of thinking will become keen and at other times the awareness of the mantra will predominate. There is an alternate awareness of wavering and concentration, fluctuation and unification; this must happen.

One should never wish to be completely free of thoughts in meditation. It is impossible to be totally aware of only the japa or the mantra. Along with the mantra and the actual practice of japa, thoughts will come; fluctuations must take place, memories must return. This is natural, and if it does not happen, you can sure that you have a mental block somewhere and you must get rid of it. So, along with the mantra you can practice antar mouna, the art of witnessing the thought process.

Techniques of Japa
There are many different techniques of Japa but they all fall into one of the following categories.

1. Bakhari japa (also calld nachika) is audible japa. The mantra can be chanted as loudly as you wish. This is the most suitable form of japa for beginners and those people who have a disturbed mind. When one feels depressed, tense, angry or unhappy, this is one of the most effective methods of making the mind peaceful and harmonized. It is the practice for those who are dull, of wavering tendencies or of a restless nature.

It is a very powerful practice, particularly when a large group of people chant together. The whole atmosphere is charged with positive vibrations. Audible japa should be practiced for a few months by all beginners, and those who practice more advanced techniques will benefit by doing a little baikhari before their other japa. This will charge the brain with the powerful vibrations of the mantra. If you practice baikhari japa for hours together your mind attains a particular psychic level, a suggestive state of mind. This is the time when you can use japa therapeutically to make positive suggestions for yourself or for someone else whether they are far away or near. Baikhari japa can be practiced with the eyes open.

2. Upanshu Japa is whispering japa. In this form the lips are moved, but they create no loud or external sound. Only the practitioner can hear the mantra. This stage leads from simple baikhari japa to the more subtle manasik japa, and it is also useful in situations where environmental factors prevent one from practicing baikhari.

Whispering japa is the best form for those want to practice hours of japa at a time. It should also be used by those who are practicing japa with a special mantra for a specific purpose. There is a whole science of mantra, and throughout the world, even to this day, people repeat specific mantras for the purpose of endowing themselves with added strength to face a particularly difficult situation or to change the course of their destiny. There are mantras to bring wealth and prosperity, long life, a successful court haring, protection against disease or disorder, to aid digestion, to induce sound sleep, etc. There are many, many more mantras. The practice of upanshu japa can be done with the eye half closed.

3. Manasik is mental japa. No sound is uttered and the lips do not move. This is the most subtlest form of japa and is the practice for those with a steady mind which is reasonably free of thoughts. If you do manasik japa wth a disturbed mind, you will most likely fall asleep or become lost in the thought processes. If practiced with a calm state of mind, manasik is the best form of japa to delve deeper into the mind. It is said by the wages and scriptures that the steady and devoted practice of manasik japa is enough to lead a man to enlightenment. It should always be practiced with the eyes closed.

4. Likhit japa involves writing the mantra on paper hundreds of times in red, blue or green ink. The letter should be as small and as possible and written with utmost care, concentration and sense of beauty of proportion. The smaller the letters the greater the concentration. Likhit japa is always combined with manasik japa. Each time the mantra is written it should be simultaneously repeated silently.

Combining the practices
It is the best to commence japa practice with baikhari, whether the mind is calm or tense. If the mind is tense, loud japa will pacify and relax the mind. If you are calm you can quickly transfer to upanshu or maasik japa.

If you are doing manasik japa and the mind is wandering too much or becoming drowsy, you should mmediately transfer to baikhari. When you have established control over the mind you can return to manasik japa.

Which mantra and how to use it.
The best mantra to use for japa is a personal mantra which has been given by a Guru. If you do not have such a mantra, it is perfectly safe to use the universal mantra OM. Once you have begun to use a mantra do not change it unless you have been practicing with OM or Soham and a guru gives you a personal mantra.

The mantra should be chanted rhythmically and with clear pronunciation and intensity of feeling. The mantra must be synchronized with the movement of the mala. Each time you repeat the mantra move one bead of the mala. Chant quickly if the mind is disturbed and slowly if the mind is more relaxed.

Before you begin any japa practices read the supplementary notes on “Mantra” and “Mala”. This will enhance your understanding of japa yoga.

The effects of japa and the mantra can be felt within a few weeks. A person who is suddenly overwhelmed by anxiety, restlessness and doubt can be helped by japa even if he has no faith. All he has to do is patiently practice japa for about ten to fifteen days, then, although he may not become a self-realized man, he will be free from his abnormal complexes.

Japa can be practiced at any time in any place, although it is best to practice at a regular time every day, either early in the morning or before sleep at night. If you want to practice while travelling to and from work, or in a place where there are other people, do not use your mala. Never practice for show; your spiritual practices should not be revealed to anyone or they will lose their power.

When you practice japa, the left nostril should be flowing; it is alright if the breath if flowing through both nostrils, but if it is only passing through the right nostril you must change it before you begin japa. Place your left hand under the right armpit and apply a slight pressure for five to ten minutes until the left nostril starts to flow. Traditionally a special kind of arm rest (yoga danda) was used. It was made of wood and placed under the right armpit.

The methods of practicing japa should be quite clear now. Instead of describing for baikhari, upanshu, manasik and likhit, we will give brief instructions for a more advanced variations of Japa.

OM CHANTING
Sit in a comfortable meditative posture. Relax the body and close your eyes.
Start to chant OM aloud. With every utterance of OM move one bead of your mala. Om chanting and rotation of the mala must be synchronized.
Try to be completely aware of the OM chanting and feel the vibrations of the mantra resonating through your whole being. At the same time do not forget to rotate your mala.
Continue in this manner for as long as possible (at least 10 minutes)
Then stop chanting aloud, continue to rotate the mala and take your awareness to the pulse at the eyebrow centre. When you can distinctly feel this pulse, synchronize it with mental (manasik) repetition of the mantra and rotation of the mala.
Be aware of the internal sound of OM at the eye brow centre, vibrating in harmony with the pulse.
Continue in this manner for about 10 minutes, ending the practice as you complete the round of mala rotation.
Finish by chanting OM aloud 5 times.

Practial Note:
For this practice you can choose any pulse centre for concentration, but the eyebrow centre is particularly recommended. Other useful places for pulse concentration are the heart, the throat and the navel.
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Source: The Sure ways for Self-Realisation by Swamy Satyananada Saraswati of Bihar School of Yoga.